Mclean County MissFits

did this ever make it on the forum?

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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

Post  aMOXIEcilla on Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:15 pm

i think it's super important especially now that we will be breaking off into teams, choosing captains etc
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Derby letter

Post  Guest on Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:34 pm

Sure is -- and nope. But I'll repost below:
(note: I didn't write this, but I'd like to give the author a big derby hug, bc this is awesome)


--
Mainly, I find it odd that the phrase "popularity contest" is said with such disdain.

How on earth could a vote NOT be a popularity contest? Isn't the entire point of a vote to figure out what the most popular choice is among a group of people?

If you want to turn a popularity contest into a positive thing, here is how you do it: hang out with a group of people who value the qualities that you value.

Then, the popular people in your group are simply going to be the ones who have these great qualities in spades. A popular person among the computer nerds of the world is probably great at code and well versed in massive multiplayer games. A popular person among the nonprofit organizations of the world is probably very skilled at event organization, getting the most bang out of a buck, and identifying communities who are in need of charitable services.

So ... what's wrong with that? Honestly, nothing that I can think of.

A popularity contest is a bad thing when the group values traits that you either do not possess or do not want to possess: fashionable shoes, the right purse, the tannest skin, the biggest biceps, the whitest teeth, the nicest car.

Forgive me, but I really don't think we're that group, are we?

There is this notion that it is wrong to vote for your friends or for the people you admire. Well, that depends on why they're your friends.

When you decide that voting is a popularity contest (which, again: of course it is), what you really need to decide is whether you are in a group that values the traits that you value.

If the wrong people are popular, in your opinion, what's wrong with that picture? Why is everyone else voting for someone you don't like? Is it really a conspiracy, or is there maybe a social group that is simply better suited to you?

If I seem to favor some people over others, or if other members of the BOD seem to do the same thing, and you feel left out, I'm happy to tell you how to get into our secret club.

Here is a great set of tips and tricks to becoming the popular girl in roller derby school, if you want to be the popular girl (and there is nothing wrong with doing roller derby on your own terms if you aren't interested in increasing your profile or your responsibility--just make the minimums and you'll never hear a complaint from me).

The good news is, you don't even have to get a mani/pedi or anything.

--Make yourself useful.
Man, I love a player who realizes she's good at something and simply does it, without me having to beg or without needing guidance every step of the way. If you want to catch my attention, you don't need to pull up in a sweet car or get a great date to prom or win head cheerleader or starve yourself skinny. You need to stop waiting for someone to ask you to do something and figure out how you can best help the league. No one asks Champ to find us new events. No one asks me to look up new drills. No one asks Devo to take all the pictures for the newsletter. Look for gaps in our strengths and empower yourself. The key players in this league made themselves such. You can do the same, and it's on you to do so--and you were free in this election to nominate yourself for whatever you wanted and make your case for why you would do a great job. How long you have been in the league has nothing to do with it. I nominated one of our newer refs for ref coordinator, and Devo was pretty unanimously nominated for Web. Both of these people took the initiative. Neither of these people seem to be in the habit of seeming particularly sorry for themselves. Hint, hint.

--Be responsible.
Did you forget your jersey for the ninth time? Were you a half hour late again? Did you skip the league meeting? Have you forgotten to check the forum for the last month? Did you go on a two-week vacation without telling anyone you were leaving? Have you flaked on the last four events you signed up for? These things do not go unnoticed, and they will most definitely hurt your popularity, if we're insisting on calling it that.

--Be positive.
Always grumbling that you have a cold, that you're tired, that you're sick, that you hate your life? Always posting maddeningly vague status updates on Facebook about all the drahmahz in your life or the fact that you could so totally just stab a CERTAIN SOMEONE in a certain LEFT EYEHOLE with a CERTAIN ICEPICK? Uh oh. I think I just figured out why you aren't the cool girl at the party: you're a complete downer, or you're so frighteningly dramatic that people avoid you for fear of becoming your enemy by accident, or you're both. Consider complimenting someone once in a while, phrasing your criticism more constructively, or otherwise making an effort to demonstrate that you realize it takes a village to make a village not be grouchy and full of animosity. Okay, I changed that quote a little, but I think I have a point here. Mocking a player for her bad stride or whining about how hungry you are isn't going to win you this particular popularity contest, and frankly, I think that's a good thing. We all have bad days, and we all have our complaints. But overall, most of the people who are popular in this league are popular because they dedicate themselves to creating a happy, fun atmosphere. Again, I see nothing wrong here.

--Be a team player.
Are your suggestions for the good of the league, or are they simply what you want for yourself? Most people can tell the difference, and they aren't going to appreciate your throwing a fit over uniforms because you wanted halter tops when the rest of your team wanted cap sleeves.

That's it. Those are the four magic things that will get you into my particular cool club--not that any of us were ever all that cool. I certainly had no shot at prom queen, I can tell you that. And yet here I am, at the best cafeteria table in the world: the roller derby table.

And instead of feeling sorry for yourself or angry at the people around you, I recommend that you either find your happy niche in roller derby or seek it somewhere else--not for our sakes, but for yours.

I'm having a great time in this league, and if you're not, you need to do something about it. High school is long over, which means that you're no longer forced to be in the company of anyone you don't want to be, and life is too short to spend with people who don't make "popularity" a word that you can say happily.

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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

Post  aMOXIEcilla on Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:46 pm

written by pro-peoria push's coach
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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

Post  Guest on Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:53 pm

And I'll paste this here, too, since it'll get deleted on fb when the page goes away:
(this is me now)

--

[nibble nibble] I really really like this piece, and I think it gets just about everything right, and should be handed out to every member of every nonprofit org.

I have only one point to add, in the same generic context as this piece:
Roller derby isn’t just a social group, it’s also a business organization, and sometimes the duality can be awkward. If business is discussed at social functions, it’s important to think about whether you’re missing people in that discussion, whether the topic needs to be added to a meeting agenda, or resumed later over email with all the people who should be involved. If decisions are made in social settings, think about whether you’re going to be communicating those decisions through the same channels that you would have if the decision had been made in a league meeting.

Having your big girl panties on doesn’t mean being immune to feeling hurt or angry if you’re missing information that you need to do your job with the organization. But it does mean you have the responsibility to keep them pulled up, check in with people if you think you’re not getting some info, and address communications and other issues dispassionately. It means not whining to your friends (or, worse yet -- your derby wife) about it until you’re ready to explode. Every time you start talking about how someone did something to/without you, check yourself. Is this about ego and feelings, or is it about the successful functioning of the league? If you say it’s about the league, ask yourself again. And again. Go ahead, ask again. If you’re ready to start addressing the person involved with any variation of the word “I”, it’s probably about you, rather than the league.

But I do love this paragraph more than I can say. “[either] you’re a complete downer, or you’re so frighteningly dramatic that people avoid you for fear of becoming your enemy by accident, or you’re both. Consider complimenting someone once in a while, phrasing your criticism more constructively, or otherwise making an effort to demonstrate that you realize it takes a village to make a village not be grouchy and full of animosity.” I am swooning.

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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

Post  Guest on Tue Nov 09, 2010 6:48 am

Love love LOVE this (and also what you added, SP)!

I want to add more, but I need more coffee and to get my kids ready for school (What? Real life? Huh?). Coming back to this later...

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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

Post  Guest on Thu Nov 11, 2010 8:34 pm

This was so great to read again tonight, espcially with the voting taking place now. I'm thinking of maybe even creating a MissFits flag so we can pledge a couple lines from this amazing article before practices. Well, I was kinda joking but as my fingers are doing the walking, my mind is going crazy over it. sunny

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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

Post  aMOXIEcilla on Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:32 am

well its pro's speech so we would have to raise a pro flag as well. those words of hers i thought appropriate coming up on draft season and especially now!!
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Re: did this ever make it on the forum?

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